Sunday, June 14, 2009

Marriage, wedding and a new partnership - just some thoughts & cents

Quite a few people I know are getting hitched within July 2009 till Jan/Feb 2010. A couple of them are divorcees, having gained the courage and want to try build a life with another. Me - I'm still very very selective (yeah, I'm a divorcee too).

A few of these couples getting married have been partners for quite a while (more than 3 years) while some have known each other for less than 6 months - not even a full 4 seasons! I'm just wondering whether they understand what their signing up for - commitment to each other... until someone gets stabbed in the back or basic agreed principles broken (ah.. sweet memories ;P).

Ok ok - back to the topic at hand. Marriage, wedding and managing these costs:
  1. Cost of Wedding
    Hm.. big bash gathering where you MAY make a profit, break-even or loss. Not very good probabilities - even if you profit, the restaurant profits more than your guests and you. I'd rather allocate most of the money to creating a new experience with my new partner - honeymoon, or pre-pay our new home.

  2. Cost of Studio / Outdoor Photography
    From personal experience and friends' sharing, after the first two years, these are often kept in the back of the wardrobe or somewhere, never to see the light of day (or artificial lights for that matter). However, as a "captured on photo" experience with natural, "unartificial" photos would be a touching keep-sake for the lady. Good to spend on this but not crazy % of your total cost.

  3. Cost of Honeymoon
    Yeehaa! This is where I'd plonk most of my money as this creates shared experience with your partner at some place which both of you want to visit.

  4. Cost of Dowry
    Some older tradition followers demands this. No issues as long as the amount is used to build the partnership's home in the end of the day.

  5. Home
    I've seen books recommending, monthly mortgage from 35% and below to 20% and below your gross or net income OR a total cost of not more than 2 years' gross income, as the "safe" rule-of-thumb.
    Personally, I've bought 3 houses and sold 2 of them, all for living-in. From my own experience, it's best to keep your mortgage below 20% of your monthly net income, income which you are "for sure" to get (as long as you don't screw things up). With such a low commitment, you never have to worry about debts - even "good" debts.

    By the way, I don't suggest you buying "as big a home as possible" assuming you'll be living there "forever". Again, from experience, I did that with the same thinking but within 7 years I moved twice. In addition, such a huge commitment may cause your partner and you sleepless nights and may eat you alive ;P

    Bottomline - you want a home or you want a "thing" that you work your ass off to finance?
How did I finance my ex-marriage several years ago? Simple - from my bonus, after taking my cut of prepaying my mortgage and a few other necessities. If I were to do it again (who knows I may bump into someone perfect for Ariel and I ;P) I'm accumulate the money in my "Specific Goals" account for two years and spend as above.

All constructive criticisms and feedback are welcome via the comments feature in this blog.

No comments:

Post a Comment